Wow, only 105 minutes until

the first surprise (to me) at least -- Marion Cotillard. I didn't think her performance was much more than a damned good impression of Edith Piaf, but this wouldn't be the first time the Academy voters gave one of its top awards to a glorified Rich Little (see: Jamie Foxx). On the other hand, hers was the flashiest of the five nominees, and Julie Christie's role was more of a supporting turn.

This show is murder. I am disheartened. I need more wine.

Lori said this

to the sound people who said they couldn't remember who they wanted to thank:

"Then get off the stage."

Jessica Alba

looks like an eggplant with a fringe on top. I know she's pregnant, but purple isn't a good color for her.

This is one dull awards show

At this point, I seem to think I enjoyed last year's show better. Or maybe I haven't had as much wine this year.

Ruby Dee was damn good in American Gangster.

I'm a bit surprised that Tilda Swinton won. Lori says she's not, but is disappointed that we have to look at that ugly ass, shapeless frock-like thing she's wearing.

Jennifer Hudson looks like a marshmallow

and she appears to be reading her introduction phonetically.

It's also 45 minutes into the presentation and they are finally getting around to an award the majority of us care about.

Lori hopes that Tom Wilkinson brought his daughter with him.

Ratatouille?

Ratapoopee is more like it. I watched Ratatouille on a recent flight and was decidedly underwhelmed. I haven't seen Persepolis yet, but it has to be better than the latest dazzling bit of computer animation.

Why are they opening with two technical awards and the animation award? This ceremony seems to have no coherence, as though someone is backstage randomly pulling envelopes out of a barrel. "Best sound mixing! You're up next!"

THEY'RE OPENING WITH COSTUME DESIGN!?!?!?!?!

I'm riveted.

For the record, the costumes were one of the few award-worthy aspects of Elizabeth: The Golden Age.