Dammit, this is not the Tonys!

Dammit this is not the Tonys!

And dammit, this is not the Tonys!

Although it has always been a dream of mine to see Hugh Jackman and Beyonce duet on a "You're the One That I Want"/"The Trouble with Maria"/"Lady Marmalade" medley.

What does it say about the Oscars

has been James Franco mispronouncing the title of the best short live action film? Maybe he and Rogan had been smoking whatever they had at the MTV Awards.

What's up with the strip club curtains surrounding the stage?

Jessica Biel's dress looks like it has a tumor.

I often find myself asking, "Who is Ed Cantinal? And I have I spelled his name correctly?"

This isn't bad either

Ben Stiller gives good mentally ill Joaquin Phoenix.

Why is Frank Langella wandering around during an award bestowal?

Another win for Slumdog. I liked the cinematography in Dark Knight better but apparently I liked DK a lot more than the Academy did anyway.

Danny Boyle looks so happy every time I see him. Of course when you luck into releasing a very good film in a year when pretty much everything else sucks donkey balls, you have good reason to smile.

Lori likes Natalie Portman's dress.

And I liked the sleeping cap Philip Seymour Hoffman is wearing.

Wait, what, why?

This is the third award Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker have presented! I guess the Academy really must be short on funds this year if they can't spring for the appropriate number of "it would be an honor to even be nominated at some point" celebrities to hand out the awards no one really cares about.

What on earth is The Dark Knight doing the romance montage? And The Incredible Hulk? Was love really that empty at the cineplex this year, or did someone at WBros and Universal pay to have those films included?

We have a first!

Someone referred to David Fincher as a wonderful human being! There used to be a drinking game where everyone did shots when people referred to him as a prick but all of the participants died of acute alcohol poisoning.